


Conversations in Artistic Expression

by snowpuppies



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F, Humor, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-04
Updated: 2009-04-04
Packaged: 2017-10-02 07:04:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowpuppies/pseuds/snowpuppies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dawn and Anya talk. They have sex. They fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conversations in Artistic Expression

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by [Kitty Poker](http://kitty-poker1.livejournal.com/) and [Insomnia Geek](http://insomnia-geek.livejournal.com/).

  


 

  
**i. connect the dots**

 

"Are you sure that's where it goes? I don't think it will fit."

"I'm looking at the picture, and that's where it goes."

"Here, let me see that."

"…"

"I still don't understand why we can't ask Willow about this. I mean, what good is having a card-carrying lesbian in the house if you can't ask her about the mechanics of woman-on-woman sex?"

"Because Willow will tell Buffy and Buffy will have a coronary at the thought that I know what sex _is_, much less that I'm wanting to _have_ it…and with _you_, no less."

"And what's wrong with me? I'll have you know that many men have found my sexy, nubile body desirable over the last thousand years, little girl, and even though I've never slept with a woman, I'm sure that many of them _routinely_ find me sexy, as well. I don't _have_ to sleep with you, you know."

"Ok, first of all, it's probably not a good idea to call the woman you're about to have sex with a "little girl"; it's a bit of a turn-off. And, well, it's not so much _you_ as the fact that you're a woman, and I don't want Buffy to know I'm, you know, gay."

"Willow's gay, and she and Buffy are good friends."

"Very good friends. It's not that I think Buffy would mind, it's more that I think that she might try to set me up with Willow."

"Oh. Well, Willow's very attractive. I've always thought she has very nice breasts—not as nice as yours, of course—but nice, all the same. She has very small hands, though."

"And I'm pretending I didn't hear that. It's just…I've more or less known Willow since I was eleven. It would be like…sleeping with Buffy."

"You humans and your hang-ups about incest. Why, in some demon cultures, it's expected that you'll produce offspring with those in your family."

"Hello? Inbreeding? Ugh. That's just gross."

"This isn't a very arousing conversation, is it?"

"Ugh. _Inbreeding_."

"…"

"…"

"Well, I still don't think that's where it goes. The artist was obviously visualizing the internal anatomy of a Por'than demon. Are you sure those monks didn't sneak a little Por'than into the Dawnie Cocktail? It would be terribly convenient."

"Uh, no…No Por'than, one hundred percent human-key hybrid, here. No demon-y bits allowed. Not that there's anything wrong with being a demon, of course, just…I'm not, so I don't think this thing will work."

"Well, that's one idea down the drain."

"Yeah."

"Are you sure we can't ask Willow about this?"

"I'm sure. Now will you shut up? I'm trying to find something useful in this stupid book."

"It is a stupid book. It must have been written by a man."

"You want to just take our clothes off and see where it goes?"

"I'm already there, little girl."

"Anya!"

"What? Do you need help with that?"

"No, I…oh. OH. Fuck the book. We don't need the book."

"Fuck the book? Is that in the instructions? That sounds _very_ painful. Besides, I think I'd rather fuck you, if you don't mind."

"Eep!"

 

  
**ii. paint by numbers**

 

"Oh! Oh, wow….that was…Wow. Where did you learn _that_?"

"Oh, it's something Xander used to do on special occasions. He had this thing he would do with his tongue…"

"That's _way_ too much information, Anya."

"Speaking of Xander, we should invite him the next time we have sex."

"_What_??"

"He's a big fan of woman-on-woman sex and I think he'd very much like to watch, even though we're not girlfriend and boyfriend anymore and are _just friends_. That's what friends do, right? Do nice things for each other in the hopes that they might one day reciprocate?"

"You are _so_ weird."

"Yes, but I'm very good in bed."

"You have a point."

"So what do you think?"

"About…?"

"About inviting Xander to watch?"

"Remember what I said about Willow? Well, it goes, like, double no, _triple_ for Xander—I mean, can you imagine…? It's just…ugh!"

"Well, I don't think Xander would mind. When we were still together, sometimes he wanted me to call him Daddy during sex."

"Arrgh!"

"Well, he's not really my father, _obviously_. I mean, I was born, like, a thousand years ago. Comparatively, Xander was born last week."

"Anya, can we _please_ not talk about Xander in bed?"

"I suppose, but all these sexy thoughts have made me horny. Are you ready to _reciprocate_ yet?"

"I could be convinced. Show me that tongue thing again?"

 

  
**iii. canvas and oil**

 

"That's…so…_hot_."

"See? I told you homemade porn was the best."

"Is that really me?"

"Yes. I did say that you were oddly flexible."

"It's just…wow."

"So…good idea?"

"Wonderful, amazing, fantastic idea. I'm so glad I bought that video camera."

"Oh! This is the best part."

"Oh, fuck."

"I agree. Come a little closer?"

"Oh, _fuck_."

 

  
**iv. coloring outside the lines**

 

"Anya, why has Xander been looking at me funny?"

"Funny? I don't think Xander looks funny today. You should see him on laundry day—it's _very_ amusing."

"Seriously, Ahn, he blushes every time I walk in the room."

"He must just think you're pretty. You are, you know, very. Pretty, that is."

"You're trying to distract me."

"And you're much prettier without clothes on. Are those mine?"

"Uh, yeah. They're really silky, so I, uh, tried them on."

"You look better in pink than I do. You should keep them. I bet your ass feels great in them."

"I dunno, you wanna…you're distracting me, again."

"It was worth a shot. And your ass does look great."

"True. So…"

"So…"

"Xander and the blushing virgin routine?"

"Well, I know you had some weird hang-up about inviting Xander over to watch us have sex, but his birthday came up and I got caught in a bidding war on eBay with some pimply fifteen-year-old over the Seven of Nine figure he wanted, and I really needed a present, so—"

"You _didn't_!"

"Well…"

"Anya! That video was for us. As in you and me and no one else! Especially not _Xander_!

"It's not a big deal, really…"

"Oh! I'll never be able to look at him again!"

"He's not _really_ your brother, you know."

"I can't believe you did that!"

"I asked before I gave it to him, honestly."

"I _knew_ I never should have gotten you that video camera."

"He assured me you share no common recent ancestors."

"I should have bought you jewelry."

"He was very impressed, by the way."

"What! Xander's seen me naked! Oh. My. GOD!"

"He's seen me naked, too. He thinks we look very sexy together."

"Oh God."

"I invited him over."

"_What_?!?"

"He should be here—"

"Hey, Anya…er…uh…Dawn."

"—Right about now"

"Anya...there just aren't words."

"You're both looking particularly lovely this fine evening. I like the pink, Dawn. Hey Ahn, didn't I buy those?"

"Yes. Two Christmases ago. They look better on her, don't you think?"

"I'm having a really strange dream."

"I think I remember they looked pretty damn hot on you."

"Thank you! You were always so sweet."

"Any minute, I'm going to wake up."

"So…what do you ladies have in mind?"

"I thought Dawn and I would be on the bed, and you can sit here in the chair, but put a towel down if you want to masturbate. You have no idea how hard it is to get bodily fluids out of microsuede."

"This cannot be my life."

"I'll just, uh…go grab a towel."

"Make sure to get one of the old ones. One of those your grandmother gave us for our almost-wedding will do."

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

"So, uh…you ladies can start whenever you like. The Xan-man's ready for liftoff."

"Excited already, huh? Glad to see Xander Jr. looking so perky. Dawn and I will…Dawn? Honey, pay attention. It's time to have sex."

"Huh?"

"Get on the bed so I can ravish you."

"Oh, what the hell. Where do you want me?"

 

  
**v. scissors and glue**

 

"See? That wasn't so bad."

"Ok, so…it really wasn't. I actually kinda forgot that Xander was here. Well, until he started making those funny grunting noises, but by then I wasn't really paying attention to anything except your mouth."

"I was particularly good this evening, wasn't I?"

"Practically _inspired_."

"It really was a good idea, and such an inexpensive Christmas present! I mean, a new bra—for me, some new handcuffs—for you, and some flavored lube—for both of us, really, and bingo! One happy Xander."

"Yeah. He did seem sorta…_happy_."

"He was _very_ happy. I haven't seen him ejaculate that far since he bought me that gold bikini."

"You have absolutely no concept of too much information, do you?"

"Hey! Do you think Willow would be interested in a private showing?"

"Well…"

"Oh, come on, it won't be as bad as you think. Besides, think of all the cash we'll save."

"I…"

"You know how horny I get when I save money."

"Oh, well…alright, I guess."

"Oh, goody! I'll go call her."

"What—_now_?"

 

  
**vi. modeling clay**

 

"Hey, Dawn! Look at this!"

"Yeah? It's Brian's birthday party invitation. We helped plan it, remember?"

"Of course I remember. Your sister didn't like a single one of my costume ideas."

"Well, I've gotta be honest, sweetie: green taffeta? Not flattering in _any_ way."

"I happen to like the way it looks. Of course, I look stunning no matter what I wear."

"Or what you _don't_ wear. Why don't you put that down and join me in the bedroom? I'll make it worth your while."

"Now hold on a minute! You always accuse me of distracting you at important moments, and now you're the one doing it. It's just not fair, so stop it, right now."

"Alright. Go on, then."

"Well, I, uh…well, now I'm all horny and I can't think straight."

"You were saying about the invitation?"

"Oh, yes! Look at the envelope."

"Oh…kay. It's an envelope. With our address. And a stamp with a flag. Oh, I see what you're talking about—there's no return address. Shame on Buffy. It's a good thing she got our address right or we…would have gone to the party anyways, since we planned it!"

"No, I'm not talking about the return address. Look at our names!"

"Dawn and Anya. Well, that's me, and you, I think. Wait. Your name _is_ Anya, right? Don't tell me I've been calling you by the wrong name all these years."

"Of course my name is Anya. Hello? Does Anyanka ring a bell? I'm talking about our names, together, as in Dawn _and_ Anya. She sent one invitation, _one_. It's the first time your sister has acknowledged our status as a couple."

"Either that or she was short an invitation."

"It's a huge milestone in a committed relationship."

"Sweetheart, we've been Dawn _and_ Anya for years now."

"Yes, but this is the first time it's in print. And finally being acknowledged by your family after so long…"

"Well, Buffy always has been a bit pig-headed."

"I always wondered about that Mr. Gordo."

"It just took her a while to figure out this wasn't a phase, and—wait, _what_?"

"Well, I mean, your sister sleeps with a stuffed pig. It's just a little bit weird, you know?"

"This from the woman who organizes her lingerie drawer by amount saved."

"Yes, well, you like my lingerie drawer."

"Very much. Care to give me the guided tour?"

"I suppose it can be arranged."

 

  
**vii. hammer and chisel**

 

"Again? Anya, you're such a horn-dog."

"So? You like that about me."

"I _love_ that about you."

"Well, yes, I suppose so. Hold on a minute, I've got a surprise."

"Not the video camera again!"

"Oh, you'll like this, I'm sure. Besides, it wasn't like I _meant_ to leave it in the VCR for Buffy to find."

"You're not helping your case."

"Just trust me, ok?"

"...alright, but no watching it on Buffy's VCR, ok?"

"Done. I, uh…well, I thought you might like to see this."

"Oh! I can't believe you still have that."

"I found it while I was cleaning out the toy chest the other day—a tube of lube came uncapped and covered everything. I had quite the entertaining afternoon—and I remembered how clueless we were when it came to lesbian sex."

"We were pretty clueless."

"We have gotten better, _much_ better, since then."

"I can't believe we ever read this stupid book. Look at this!"

"Dawn, this is important."

"Oh, what are you…Anya, is that a ring?"

"Well, I know we can't get _married_ exactly, what with me being a demon for a thousand years and not having a birth certificate, but no one understands my love for money the way you do, and you're very generous in bed and you don't mind if I talk about sex in public…"

"Anya? You want…to get _married_?"

"It makes sense, financially, to be partners, and Buffy and I found this really nice ceremony we could use, and—"

"You talked to Buffy about this?"

"I was nervous. And I didn't know what you would say and I wanted to have a plan in mind—Umph! Oh! Right there. Oh! Oh! Do that thing with your tongue!"

"This thing?"

"Oh, _yes_! I'll—unh!—take that as a yes, huh?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you'd better do that again, right away."

"Sure. _After_ you hand over the ring."

"My pleasure. Oh! Yesss! Definitely my pleasure."

 

 

 

_FIN_.

 

Originally archived [here](http://snowpuppies.livejournal.com/155992.html).


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